Working !!!

I'm in such a funk and I can't seem to snap out of it. It almost reminds me of the old "Crazy Carol" of several months ago. Maybe I'm not alone, maybe everybody gets their crazy times and I've always thought it was just me. I broke off an online relationship of almost a year and that's been really painful.
My medical woes continue. Went to the Dr once again last Tuesday about my incision. This time even he was a bit alarmed by the way it looked. He cut it open about 1 1/2 more inches to let it drain more easily, so now I have an infected hole in my stomach about as big around as a quarter and about 3 inches deep. I have to have it packed twice a day with 2 feet of gauze. Of course I can't do this to myself so I'm having to go to one of the local clinics during the week and then one of the nurses from the clinic lives just two blocks from me so she's coming over to do it for me on the weekends. Yesterday there was a couple times when I lost it and cried my head off, thought to myself why me, then thought why not me, I'm no better then anyone else.
I go back to see the Dr on Thursday and I'm hoping he takes one look at it and says "it looks 100% better". If it's not better then I honestly don't know what's next. He did say that infections aren't uncommon especially when you've had Colon surgery. It is the dirtiest organ in the body by far....
So here it is Sunday and I should be off but decided instead to work and keep my mind busy.....
Cya